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When you experience loss – especially the loss of a baby – it can feel near impossible to see past the pain and heaviness that consumes you. It is like a kind of tunnel vision tricking you into thinking there is nothing good that exists in your life anymore and that life has lost all meaning.
It’s easy to get stuck in this place because often a part of us wants to stay there to honor our baby. But we can’t, mama. We have to make our way through the tunnel – for the sake of our living loved ones, careers, and quality of life. But how?
One powerful tool is to expand your view beyond the “grief tunnel” to the things that are still good in your life.
Gratitude journaling involves writing down things that you are grateful for each day. It can be small things (e.g., “I am grateful that I slept well last night.”) or big things (e.g., “I am grateful that my body is healing,”) or anything in between. This practice can help shift your focus from what you have lost to what you still have in your life. It can help you find moments of joy and positivity, even during difficult times. Here are some of the reasons why gratitude journaling can be helpful during grief:
It helps you focus on the positive: Gratitude journaling can help you shift your focus to positive things in your life, which can help improve your overall mood and outlook.
It can help you feel more connected: Writing down things that you are grateful for can help you feel more connected to the people and things in your life. This can be especially helpful during times of grief when you may feel disconnected from the world around you.
It can help you cope with stress: Grief can be incredibly stressful, and stress can take a toll on your physical and mental health. Gratitude journaling can help you cope with stress by giving you a positive outlet to express your emotions.
There’s no one way to do this, and you are invited to make the practice your own. However, if you don’t know where to start, here are some tips:
1. Find a journal that you like: You don’t need anything fancy, just a notebook or journal that you enjoy writing in. (I do love a pretty journal, though, as it inspires me to crack it open more frequently.) It can be helpful to choose a journal that is easy to carry with you so that you can write in it whenever you have a spare moment.
2. Set a regular time to write: It can be helpful to set aside a specific time each day to write in your journal. Days can blur together during grief. A gratitude journaling practice can help you begin to bring a routine back into your life – and will also make it easier to stick with the practice. Try setting an alarm on your phone, or stacking it with another habit, like right after you brush your teeth.
3. Forget perfection: You are creating a sacred space for yourself when you journal, so please avoid self-judgment of any kind. So what if your grammar is terrible and your handwriting looks like a toddler’s? The outcome is not the point. The magic is in the reflective process, mama.
Whatever you’d like! There’s no wrong way to be grateful. Some women like to use prompts to get started, though. Here are some examples:
Gratitude journaling can be a powerful tool for coping with grief and finding moments of joy and positivity in your life. I encourage you to give it a try. And remember this affirmation from the Light in Loss Daily Healing Affirmations for Grieving Mamas card deck:
On my worst days, I recognize the good that is still in my life.
In love, light, and healing,
Vera
xoxo
Vera is a Reiki Master Teacher and Energy Coach who helps women identify, clear, and heal blocked energy so they can move through grief and trauma, and become joyfully present in their lives again. She is a Board Certified Coach, Certified Sound Healer, Certified Yoga Teacher, and proud mama of two living children and one in the stars. She holds a Masters Degree in Counseling and a Ph.D in Education. She has healed from deep grief and sexual trauma using the modalities she now teaches, and has authored a children’s book and healing affirmation cards to support grieving women and their families. Most importantly, she’s on a mission to make energy healing accessible to everyone.
