6 Ways to Find Your Still Center in the Storm of Grief

mama, only you can find your still center in the storm

The aftermath of losing a baby can feel like being caught in the middle of a tumultuous storm. The waves of grief can come crashing down unexpectedly, leaving you feeling tossed and turned by your emotions. Some days may feel like a dark and ominous thunderstorm, with your grief looming overhead like an unrelenting cloud. Other days may feel like a sudden and violent downpour, with intense feelings of sadness, anger, or guilt washing over you all at once.

These feelings are a normal part of the grieving process, and it’s important to find support and strategies to help you cope with your emotions. Let’s explore some supportive strategies that can help you process your emotions in a healthy and compassionate way, and find a sense of peace and stillness.

1. Practice Mindful Self-Compassion

Try to be kind and gentle with yourself during this time,  mama. Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and centered, even in the midst of difficult emotions. Take time to be present in the moment, and focus on your breath. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel – without judgment or expectation. You might find it helpful to try these mindful strategies:

• Listen to a guided grief meditation
• Do a grief yoga sequence (Paul Denniston is my go-to!)
• Try writing down three things you’re grateful for each day to shift your focus

2. Connect with Others

Grief can be an isolating experience, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends and family who can offer support and understanding. There are also many online communities and support groups for women who have experienced pregnancy loss. Talking to others who have gone through a similar experience can help you feel less alone and provide comfort and understanding.

3. Take Care of Your Physical Health

Grief can take a toll on your physical health, so it’s important to take care of yourself. Exercise can help release tension and stress and boost endorphins, the body’s natural mood-boosting chemicals. Try to eat well, stay hydrated, and get enough rest. Even small acts of self-care, such as taking a warm bath or going for a walk outside, can help you feel more grounded and centered. Spending time in nature, especially, can help soothe the soul and provide a sense of peace and connection.

4. Allow Yourself to Feel & Express Your Emotions

Grief is a complex and difficult emotion, but it’s important to allow yourself to feel it. Don’t try to suppress or ignore your feelings, as this can make the grieving process even harder. Allow yourself to cry, scream, or express your emotions in whatever way feels natural to you.

Express Yourself Creatively

Creative expression can be a powerful tool for processing emotions and finding a sense of calm. Try painting, drawing, dancing, singing, or other forms of artistic expression. You don’t have to be experienced; just give it a try and create as you are moved to. Creative expression can help you connect with your emotions and express yourself in a way that feels safe and meaningful. This can help you make sense of what you’re feeling and find ways to express it that feel authentic to you.

Express Yourself in Writing

Journaling can also be a helpful tool in finding your still center. Here are some prompts to get you started:

1. What are some things that have brought me a sense of calm during past difficult times?
2. How can I find my still center during this storm?
3. How can I remind myself to take deep breaths and be present in the moment?

5. Take it One Day at a Time

Grief can be a long journey, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself and try not to put too much pressure on yourself to feel “better” or to “move on” from your loss. There is no timeline for grief, and everyone’s journey is different. It really is okay to still feel the storm of grief even months or years after your loss.

Only you can find your still center, mama. It will mean prioritizing your own needs and taking the time to care for yourself, and seeking and accepting help as you need it. Try this affirmation from the Light in Loss Daily Healing Affirmations for Grieving Mamas card deck to help you stay centered and grounded:

“I can find my still center during this storm”

In love, light, and healing,

Vera

xoxo

PS – Here’s a little something I created this morning. Sometimes you just have to start throwing paint around to get all the feels out – no plan or goal of perfection needed!