5 Ways to Overcome the Feeling of Being a Burden During Grief

mama, even on your darkest days, you are not a burden.

Grief can be a heavy burden to bear. And as we live it, our mind can play big tricks on us – telling us that our sadness and pain are too much for others to handle and that our grief is imposing on those around us. That might show up as:

• Worrying that others are tired of seeing you being sad and can’t wait for you to “get over it.”
• Worrying that hearing about your loss is causing discomfort for those around you.
• Worrying that you are an imposition to people who bring homemade meals or flowers.
• Worrying that your constant need for support is too much for your friends and family and that your dependence on them is an imposition.

These thoughts and feelings are a normal part of the grieving process, however, they are also isolating and make it difficult to reach out for support.

They also don’t reflect the reality of the situation, that the people in your life who love and care about you want to be there for you, and they want to support you through this difficult time.

It is important to acknowledge and address these feelings. Some of the ways to do that include:

1. Make a list of people in your life who you know are truly there for you, no matter what.

This could be family members, friends, or mental health professionals. Next, reflect on a positive experience with each person. In what ways have they already shown you that you are not a burden?

2. When negative thoughts surface, use positive affirmations to counteract them.

Some examples include “I am worthy of love and support” or “My feelings are valid and important.” Repeat these affirmations to yourself daily and remind yourself that your emotions are a normal part of the grieving process.

3. Allow yourself to receive support. 

This could be something as simple as saying yes to a friend’s offer to go for a walk or accepting a hug from a loved one.

4. Write about things in your life that you’re thankful for – even if they may seem small.

This will help shift your focus from negative feelings and remind you of the positive things in your life.

5. Make time for activities that bring you moments of joy and relaxation.

These could include activities like exercise, reading, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself can help you feel more centered, more capable, and more open to connecting with those who love you.

Mama, you are loved and valued. Your feelings are valid and important. In your grief and in your healing. So please remind yourself of this truth from the Light in Loss Daily Healing Affirmations for Grieving Mamas card deck when you need it:

Even on my darkest days, I am not a burden.

In love, light, and healing,

Vera

xoxo