What no-one tells you about healing: it shifts everything

Friend, years ago, as part of my doctoral work, I set out to explore how stepping outside your comfort zone impacts your sense of self.

I planned to interview five people who had studied abroad. I ended up interviewing forty-one because I became hooked on the stories they told me.

Not about the places they traveled or the wild experiences they had, but the meaning buried beneath it all. The common threads about identity shifts, soul-expansion, and, surprisingly, also grief.

Their journeys had cracked them wide open. They had Lived. Laughed. Loved. (See what I did there?) But, most importantly, they had changed.

And often, the people around them did not understand or support that. They had returned changed to an environment that had not changed with them.

Today, I see this same dissonance in the lives of the women who I hold space for, teach, and guide towards healing and expansion.

They typically move from:

• self-abandonment to self-trust
• numbness to embodiment
• inherited belief systems to personal truth
• insecurity to confidence and power

This is a massive shift. And then…they have to navigate a world that has not changed with them. One that often still expects the old version of them to show up.

Maybe these client experiences will sound familiar:

• Family not understanding your new (healthier) boundaries. They keep pushing up hard against them, wanting you to return to a time when you weren’t “being difficult.”
• Friends giving eye-rolls when you mention “energy” or “healing” and poking fun at your crystals, tarot, or other energy tools.
• Loved ones saying you will “go to hell” for choosing a non-traditional healing method like Reiki and that they’d “pray for you.”
• Feeling like you’ve outgrown your current career/job — maybe the work feels unfulfilling now, maybe the pace feels too rushed and stressful, or maybe you’re just over the drama.
• No longer having as much in common with people you used to click with, maybe even feeling annoyed by their energy/perspectives and feeling drained after visiting with them.

If so, congratulations! You’ve increased your vibration. *yay!!* But, unfortunately, your world hasn’t caught up.

Healing and expansion changes how you relate to everything. And the re-entry and integration can be incredibly disorienting and isolating.

That’s where grief happens, and where your new Self is tested and doubt begins to whisper, “Maybe I haven’t really changed.” 

This is why I do the work that I do. So that there is a safe space to process:

• The grief of outgrowing your old life
• The guilt of needing distance from loved ones
• The confusion of awakening before your community does
• The desire to feel grounded and whole inside your new expansion

Because finding resonance with others who both understand and celebrate your expansion is as important to your Soul as food and water is to your body. It’s necessary for surviving in the short-term and for thriving in the long-term.

If you’re in that in-between place where you feel expanded but unsure where you belong, I want you to know:

1. Experiencing grief is normal.
2. Your transformation is real.
3. And so is the worlds’ attempts to shrink you back into a smaller version of yourself.
4. You’re allowed to protect what you’ve worked so hard to grow.
5. Now is the time to build your village of soul-aligned people.* (I’d be truly honored if you’d count me among them.)

In Love, Light, and healing,

*P.S. – If you’ve been unsure how to find your people, here are a few ideas: 1) Join one of our upcoming circles! 2) Attend trainings/talks on topics aligned to your journey. Check out libraries, community center offerings, or come to our monthly Tender Talks. 3) Join a holistic wellness center, go to yoga classes, or try out a workshop at your local metaphysical store. Then, let your energy do the work to attract the right people. They are waiting to find you, too!